I have been on fire this week. Full of energy and focus. I sat down this afternoon to gather some finishing touches for my website that is set to launch in the next few weeks. Looking over some of the sites I love, I kept welling up with ideas. Tweek this, add that, move this. My awesome web designer, Sinoun with ShiftWebSolutions.com, is going to be thrilled I am interrupting her Hawaiian vacation with my changes. Not! I am just so excited about my business. My energy and vitality is palpable. Filing (yuck) was next on my “to do” list, but I knew it was time to sit and write to you. The flow is present. So I went with my normal routine and looked at my last blog post.
August 2011? What? That cannot be right. Where is May and June? Did some of my posts get lost in cyberspace? Or have I been away that long?
Where have “I” been?
I have to admit I love Fairy Tales. I guess I am just a sucker for a happy ending and a handsome prince. Sitting here right now I feel like a combination of Sleeping Beauty and the evil Fairy Queen Malificent. I have awoken exuberant and ready to take on the world. I have also been asleep for a very long time. I have to be straight with myself. It wasn’t an evil Queen that put a curse on me. It was me.
There aren’t many jobs in a real estate office. Most people are agents and act as independent contractors. For nearly the past three years I had one of the jobs. I still believe the best job there. On the front lines, making a difference in the agents businesses. Then the demands on the job began to change. I zigged when it zagged. My crazy entrepreneurial self was reporting to not one boss, but three. I worked harder. I got sick. I found myself suffocating and slowly falling into a scarcity conversation. I cursed myself and then I was downsized. (My husband likes to lovingly say sh*t-canned.)
Amazing how the Universe provides whatever you ask of it.
Of course I couldn’t see that at first. I was in too deep a sleep. I refused to acknowledge anything. All I knew was that I was not going to make a decision until my head was clear. That took a month and a half, an amazing weekend at the Partnership Explorations course in LA, a week in Mexico at a 5 Star resort with two of my gay boyfriends, more sleep than I have had since I graduated college and me admitting I was burned out.
I love to look good, and not being authentic has done very little to serve me. I was burned out. I have been working my ass off since college (which for me is a BA at age 20). Did I mention I had a day planner in High School? Overachiever, south of Buffalo work ethic. Faster is not fast enough, burned out and that is OK. The Universe let me sleep and then kissed me. It whispered wake up and remember who you are for the world.
Did you miss me?
I’m back. Stronger, centered, and vital. At the start of 2011 I picked three words to live into, instead of making a New Year’s resolution. They are taped to my laptop and I must admit that many times I looked at them and thought “yeah right.” Now I read them and think “hell yeah, that’s right!” They say- 2011 is Vibrant, Restorative and Effortless. It is.
If you are stuck, start by getting straight with yourself. Ask what you really want, even if you are afraid to have it. Then give yourself a break (possibly even physically.) Forgive yourself and then move forward. I recently watched the movie Limitless and this quote has stuck with me.
“I don’t have visions of grandeur, I have a recipe for grandeur.” -Eddie Morra
Yum! No pills required. Care to eat with me?
